What Do You Live For?

I love you more than you know.

2011-03-21T01:19:00.002+08:00

You shouldn't feel insecure, that should be me. Because in my whole life, I have never met anyone like you. Someone I could trust with everything, who knows me inside out even though we've known each other for less than 2 years and we've only gotten closer recently. I don't talk to anyone else the way I talk to you. I've never bared my heart to anybody else because I was too afraid of getting hurt. And I've let myself be vulnerable to you, not because i'm not afraid anymore, but because I think it's worth it. When you forget me, and we drift away, the pain will be worth it because I got so much happiness out of being close to you. The way I talk to you makes me feel more attached to you, more dependent on you and the way you talk to me... Well, nobody else has ever talked to me that way. I feel lost and insecure when i'm not talking to you and it scares me. You make me so happy, but in the end I know that you'll be the only one who has the power to really hurt me. I hope you know that i'll never leave you, because i'm too scared to lose you.

2011-02-18T19:43:00.003+08:00

This week has been so hectic and LONG. So on Monday and Tuesday I was so sick, I felt like crap. SOOO much homework oh my GOD. And tests, there were like three tests this week? On top of that giant mountain of homework... I've been sleeping at 1 plus for the past few days, probably not wise seeing as I just recovered. Anyway, this week's been an emotional roller coaster ride. Bloody hormones. Don't really feel like blogging anymore. I'm scared of who will read even though I know nobody does, it's better to be safe than sorry. I think i'm gonna go back to writing in my diary. *sigh* Safer at least. Bye blogger, you will now be used for unimportant purposes ha ha.

Live a lie

2011-02-16T14:19:00.001+08:00

You don't have a right to judge me. It was my secret to tell.

2011-02-15T21:54:00.003+08:00

I know this is a little late, but HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! Valentine's Day was awesome this year, i'm really gonna miss Valentine's Day in TK, i'm very sure no other school does the same thing we do (: You know, the past few weeks have gotten me thinking. I really should stop insulting TKGS, it's a great school. The kind of culture we have is one of a kind, i'm sure (: Haha yep anyway, I seriously think i've got the best, best friends in the world. Mel sent me a letter, in her beautiful handwriting and put in all her punctuation and spelt everything correctly FOR ONCE, i'm so proud of her HAHA. Three pages full of love, I felt so touched, by the end of it I was crying like a baby (,: And then yesterday, I received Dylan's e-mail. *sigh* I was speechless. I can't believe how amazing all my friends are. I couldn't be more grateful for the amount of love I felt yesterday. I love Valentine's Day (:

_|_

2011-02-15T10:41:00.001+08:00

You deserve everything that's coming to you, you motherfucker. I hope that ugly excuse for a boyfriend breaks your heart. You think you're so fucking high and mighty? Go to fucking hell slut. Nobody even likes you. How can you even dare to go around threatening people with the ability to 'ruin their social lives'? The only thing you're ruining is their opinion of you, which by the way is already in the gutter. You think you're so superior to everyone just cos you get guys well HELLO anyone could get a guy if they behaved like you. You're disgusting. Please just fuck off.

Dream of ways to throw it all away

2011-02-10T21:14:00.002+08:00

Nothing much happened today. Had roll-offs, bowled okay (: Better than the last time anyway, i'm getting so bad I swear. Average 161 :/ Oh well, i've gotta train harder I guess. Okay the next part of this post is probably gonna come out sounding extremely superficial and annoying, so if I annoy you, please skip. Actually, if I annoy you WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? Oh wait, that's right, nobody comes here, sorry, I forgot I was forgettable and insignificant.

Fact: I need to lose weight. Plain hard truth: I am fat, no don't deny it. Because I am, and I know it. Why? Because I am just so damn lazy and useless. I have no self control. I have no self discipline. Bottom line? Just die. And yes, I know you don't care. You say you do, but you don't. Actions speak louder than words. I changed my mind, I don't feel like blogging anymore. I'm gonna go wallow in self-pity like the useless shit I am. Bye non-existent readers.

2011-02-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

Today just sucked... Seriously, my dad spent the whole morning lecturing me in the car about how I have to listen to more educational things instead of my music. And he does this EVERY morning but today was special, he didn't just talk till he'd dropped both my sisters off, no, he carried on until he dropped ME off. Normally, he'd just stop once we'd dropped off Shu Yi, but no, he continued going on and on, repeating his points until he dropped me off 20min later.

First period was Lit, not so bad, then Amaths, not too bad either. Actually all the periods before recess were okay. Had our first study period during PE hehe Shaikha, Hazel and I went to the library and we studied. Sort of, we finished our Amath homework (: Well, Hazel did, most of it anyway...

Hahaha then had recess! :D I am seriously just IN LOVE with our clique lunchboxes, I think it's the cutest thing EVER. Hahahaha! Yep, OCT (I mean her mum) made fried food haha so we could still have fried food tuesday even though we weren't eating canteen food (:

Then after recess we had Chinese and that's when things started to go awry... Ponned lesson with Colette, Hazel, Jess, Rena, Anita and Jane. AND WE GOT CAUGHT. Of all days... Urgh... I felt so bad, Ms. Chong was so disappointed in me ): She said "I am very disappointed in you. Of all the students in this class I wouldn't have expected you to skip lesson." OMG I felt so fucking bad... Ruined my mood for the entire day ): Got 20/40 for Emaths CA, was pretty happy but I still need to do better.

Anyway, it's almost 12am and i've gotta wake up early to scramble eggs for tmr's recess HAHA bye! (:

Chinese New Year (:

2011-02-06T01:22:00.003+08:00

Aren't they just the most adorable things EVER?? Omg I went crazy over them seriously HAHA. They were probably the most exciting things that happened this CNY, how pathetic HAHA. Okay moving on, I ate like a PIG these past few days, as if that's unusual... I really need to lose weight. But then again, why? It's not like anyone's looking -.- Collected RM260, one of the only things I hate about Malaysia, the EXCHANGE RATE. Oh well, whatever. Colette was supposed to come over today but she had to go to Johor ): I miss hanging out with her! Talked to Sufiyah for 4 hours yesterday :P All the way until 6am in the morning HAHA. I MISS HER SO FUCKING MUCH. *sigh* Can't wait for her to get back in June (: Or whenever she's coming back. Okay, well I better get to bed otherwise i'll start eating again...

Give me a sign, I wanna believe

2011-01-31T22:53:00.002+08:00

I realized something today, a bit of an epiphany HAHA. I realized that whenever I like someone, I never expect the person to like me back. In fact I expect the person NOT to like me back. Isn't that depressing? Actually now that I think about it, i'm pretty sure everyone gets the same feeling LOL.

She's just the girl i'm looking for

2011-01-31T19:26:00.002+08:00

Today was pretty uneventful... It was raining so heavily in the morning and I was ALMOST late, but thank god they weren't booking. First period was Lit, Mrs Lim either didn't come to school or forgot about us, either way we had a free period but I was pretty down so I stood outside like a loner singing to myself and letting the rain collect in my hands. Walked to the toilet, but got pretty freaked out cos it was so dark HAHA. Then second period was Chinese, but I skipped class with Colette, Jess, Hazel and Parvin (: Felt a little bad cos this is the second time in a row... But anyway, it was pretty fun haha we went up to the fifth floor and played some music. Now because of HAZEL, I am completely addicted to Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer. His voice is just... WOW, like Hazel said, orgasmic. After that today was pretty boring.

Training after school though, that was okay haha (: Had lunch with Rachel, Jaeni, Zuyyin and Venessa. Haha laughed like losers at the bubble tea shop, Rachel and Zuyyin were telling stories about their OBS (: I miss it! OMFG. Yep, then after that went for training, bowled like shit for roll-offs... URGH. Kinda looking forward to tomorrow, BURLESQUE (hopefully). Okay, dinner time haha BYE.

I'm wasting my time cos she'll never be mine

2011-01-30T17:13:00.002+08:00

Woke up way too early this morning, 9.30am haha I slept at 3am omg... I was reading through all my old posts this morning and I used to use SOOO many emoticons and LOLs, i'm gonna stop doing that.

Yep, so back to my (uneventful) day. I went out with my parents and spent the whole morning watching them look at diamonds in Cartier and Tiffany & Co. If it weren't for Karen's entertaining texts, I would've died of boredom. Sure the pieces were beautiful but it's not like I can afford it or my parents would ever by it for me, so I didn't see a point in ooh-ing and ah-ing over them. And my dad kept making me look at them and scolded me for not being interested because he said I need to be 'educated' on the value of these things. And i'm like I don't see a point in buying all those ostentatious pieces of jewelry when it's not like i'm ever going to have an occasion to wear those diamond encrusted earrings or those rings with the rocks on them... I mean, for someone who is so stingy when it comes to things like clothes, he sure knows how to spend money on jewelry that would probably spend the rest of his lifetime collecting dust in my mum's jewelry box.

After that, I had lunch with my parents and Rui Yi at some chicken rice place. YUMMY (Y) Haha and then I went to Borders before going for chem tuition. I bought 'The Da Vinci Code' by Dan Brown, i've been dying to read that and The Passage by Justin Cronin, which sounds bloody interesting.

Too lazy to get started on the Valentine's Day presents and the affirmation cards :P I think i'll start tomorrow. Haha OH and that reminds me, I still have to upload the pictures from Jayne's farewell party... Gosh i'm useless.

Don't Let Me Fall

2011-01-29T23:00:00.005+08:00

Ended up not going for the flea today cos I was too lazy to go all the way to Orchard HAHA that and I had no time. Left the house at 11.30 and met Cheryl and Vivo to have lunch at Soup Spoon (: Then walked around a little and left for my house at 1.30. Camwhored in the bus, cos we're losers like that hahaha! Took some nice pictures with her iTouch app (Y) Watched Black Swan at home OMG IT WAS AWESOME. I was COMPLETELY MINDFUCKED. Natalie Portman is freaking amazing, her acting is like WHOA. After that went back to Vivo and walked around till 4 plus, was just about to leave for Orchard when Cheryl's mum called and asked her to go back home. So I met Cheng Ting and Val and had a snack at Bakerzin (: Then we went to Plaza Sing and I spent SEVENTY BUCKS at Made With Love. The stuff there is so damn nice ): Then we had dinner at Swensens, ate until I felt like EXPLODING. Gosh, what a fatty... All in all, I blew $150 today, CONGRATULATIONS ZHEN YI. Thank god next week is Chinese New Year, hopefully I can collect enough money to cover what I spent today... SO MUCH TO DO NEXT WEEK. I've gotta finish all my Valentine's Day presents, plus the 35 affirmation cards. Thank goodness CAs are over otherwise I don't know what i'm gonna do. I think about you constantly. Everytime there's nothing to do and nothing occupying my mind, you creep in, sit yourself down and refuse to leave. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. I even made a playlist of all the songs that really make me think of you. I want to make something really special for you for Valentine's Day but I know it would make my feelings for you too obvious. And no, I don't love you. I just think you're amazing. I can't think of anyone who's as perfect to me as you are. Yes, you have your imperfections, but they only make you more perfect in my eyes. If that even makes sense... But I can't do anything about how I feel and it fucking hurts. Everytime I talk about you, I find myself with a huge smile on my face and butterflies in my tummy. Then I realize that you'll never be mine and that you'll never feel the same way about me and I feel like someone has reached out and squeezed my heart. Please let these feelings go away soon.

2011-01-28T23:19:00.001+08:00

"I want to feel something for someone so badly. I want to care for something above all others. But most of all, I want someone to care for me above all anything else."

2011-01-28T19:19:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna start updating this blog again (: This week has been CRAZY. CA week, omg can die... But anyway IT'S OVER NOW.

Monday was awesome, English exam and like we had SOOO many free periods cos Ms Wong didn't come and Mr Seah forgot about us :P So Hazel, Fatin and I wandered around school like losers laughing our asses off at anything even remotely funny HAHA or maybe that was just me... Tuesday was SS and Bio, not so fun haha nothing happened. Erm Wednesday was Chem and History OMG CHEM WAS KILLER. Probably cos I don't get ANYTHING. Chem is like an alien language to me... Thursday was Amaths, Mr Seah said it was damn hard but I thought it was okay although I made A TON of careless mistakes -.- Friday (TODAY) was okay, Lit and Emath (: Emath wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, Lit was a little challenging. After school went to parkway with Colette and Filzah, met Lavelle, Nicole, Rachel and Sam at Macs and had a bitching session with Rachel, Filzah and COCOCOCOCOCO. LOL. Damn funny! Yeah anyway, we bitched practically the whole day SO BITCHY. But whatever hahaha TODAY WAS GOOD.

Looking forward to tomorrow (: FLEA OMG. I CAN'T WAIT. Okay, gonna watch a ton of movies and then sleep (:

I wish I didn't feel this way about you.

2011-01-23T01:42:00.002+08:00

Don't judge me for talking to others about it. I find comfort in talking to people about my problems. To you it may seem like i'm advertising or showing off or whatever the hell you think i'm doing, but for me it's a way of getting rid of all the confusion and hurt and pain so that i'm free to be happy. To smile because doing anything else would look alien to the people who don't know me well. And yes, I care about what others think of me, I care about what my friends and family think of me because their the ones that matter. Yeah, I can be callous sometimes but I don't mean to be and i'm sorry if i've hurt you. I'm rambling now, but it's okay, it's 1.46am give me a break. There's so much more I want to say, but i'm afraid I won't say it right in my current frame of mind. So i'm going to sleep, if you can call lying in bed for hours haunted by thoughts of her and wondering what's wrong with me, going to sleep. And no, i'm not happy by what i'm feeling for her, even though being around her and having her talk to me makes me happier than anything right now. It's confusing and it's an entirely unwelcome feeling.

2010-07-07T15:48:00.003+08:00

A whole lot of shit has happened since the last time I posted here... But whatever, I don't give a damn anymore. I've decided not to think of the past, on the things I've lost. The people I somehow managed to alienate... Anyway, we've both found other people, I still can't believe we let all our years of friendship go to waste. I wish for you every 11:11, nobody knows, but I do. Because the truth is, all my life i'll be searching for someone just like you. Who knows every single part of me and loves me anyway. You were the best friend I've ever had, but I'm glad we were more than that. At least I won't have to wonder what if...

2010-04-29T18:50:00.000+08:00

Moving to tumblr for awhile

http://nothingswrong.tumblr.com

2010-03-21T11:43:00.001+08:00

I hate myself for loving you.

2010-03-20T20:08:00.002+08:00

"In a relationship, there's always a settler and a reacher."

---- Lily, How I Met Your Mother

2010-03-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

Had the most amazing day with Karen, Siang Min, Nelly, Joan and Rachel :D The most fun i've had all week (: I haven't actually blogged in a really long time :/ Oh well, I guess it's time to start (: I realize that reading my past entries is really fun! So i'm gonna keep this blog alive, so that i'll have entertainment in the future ^^ A lot of things have happened lately... Not all pleasant, but not all unpleasant either. I'd say it's been a very... exciting month :/ But I won't elaborate here because all the people who I want to share this with, already know (: Well... most of them.

Yep, so back to today! Hahaha, first we went to support Joan at masters (: Cos, yeah she's really pro and was the only one of us who actually got in haha ^^ I came the earliest, which is a surprise since i'm almost never early for anything bowling related... I wonder why :/ Anyway, so I waited there and cheered for Joan all alone until Nelly came. And then we pigged out on fries and nuggets (: Well, I pigged out on nuggets, Nelly didn't...

Then FINALLY Rachel, Siang Min and Karen came. And they brought a BOARD! Hahaha, like the one they made for me last year, it looked amazing (: Haha, yep then we cheered for Joan for awhile, but since i'm the worst jinx ever, she didn't bowl so well.

So Karen and I went into the cafe to do homework (: And.... Pig out some more :/ We stayed there until like the 6th or 7th game then went back out (: OH YEAH and Karen was so funny, she kept spilling the Hor Fun sauce everywhere so I cleared out everything on the table around her and she pointed the fork at me and said "I poke your eye out arh." And it was something about the way she said it or her facial expression or something that made me laugh soooo hard hahahaha, she's so cute (:

Then we got up and left, brought Rachel's things with us and cheered for Joan again (: Yep and then I went high... Hahaha, and started raising the 'Loser' flag hahaha :D Yep then when Joan was done we went to Northpoint (: Slacked around and then I remembered something I wanted to buy xD

WATER BABIES!!!

Hahahahahah yep, so we went to Popular and looked around and finally found them (: So I bought a pack and we all had a great laugh pouring it into a waterbottle and watching it grow (: Then after that Rachel and Joan had to go back to OCC, so we followed them and waited at the cafe. Played with the water babies haha ^^ Then after about an hour, Karen, Nelly, Siang Min and I went to the MRT station (: Nelly left first so Karen, Siang Min and I waited for the empty train :D hahah, and it CAME. Omg. I almost didn't believe there would be an empty train hahaha. So we sat down and started talking crap and I learned something about Siang Min that I never knew! SHE HAS A HOTTIE LIST. OMG. Hahahahaha! Yeah, so we laughed like maniacs until we had to get off the train and change to some other train for some strange reason. And we coudn't find seats ): So we sat on the floor hahahahaha, what losers right? Whatever haha (: Yeah, then we crapped some more until I had to get off (:

Okay, i'm really tired now so i'm gonna go to bed (: BYE!

2010-03-16T18:54:00.001+08:00

It’s hard to know that you’re gone.
The pain has yet to subside.
But the thing that hurts me the most,
Are these feelings I can’t seem to hide.

I wonder if you still think of me.
Though I tore your world apart.
I hope that you can forgive me.
I never meant to break your heart.

These days are becoming longer.
And you’re constantly on my mind.
Why is this so hard on me.
My past I can’t rewind.

Let me know your thoughts.
Tell me how you feel
Beause the pain I have inside of me.
Is something I need to kill.

2010-02-16T11:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE'S DAY!!! :D

AND CHINESE NEW YEAR!

KL is awesome (: Haha, my cousin's house is sooooo nice! And their dog, Heaven, is the most adorable thing on earth! They have a swimming pool, a pool table, a foozball machine and a jaccuzzi. FTW. Yeah, so my cousin taught me how to play pool and now I can't get enough of it! Their house is like freaking HUGE. OMG. Yep, then went to the mall with my parents and I got like a ton of books, plus some clothhes (: My mum is awesome haha, she was so cute, she decided she wouldn't wear her scarf so she walked around the mall with her fuzzy head :D Soooo cute! ^^ Going back to Singapore today, SOOOOOO not looking forward to the MASSIVE jam on the highway -.- My poor Troy spent Valentine's day alone ): Okay, leaving now, BYE!

If I hadn't screwed it up, maybe we would've been able to spend Vday together. I love you, always have always will.

2010-02-12T16:58:00.003+08:00

When you came back, I tried my hardest to see what I had liked about you. But all I can see are the bad stuff. I just don't know you anymore. You've changed so much and I don't like it.

2010-02-10T21:35:00.001+08:00

AHHHH! It's coming out TOMORROW! Hahaha, all these AMAZING actors and actresses xD NOT TO MENTION TAYLOR SWIFT OMG. Can't wait for friday :D

2010-02-10T17:01:00.002+08:00

Omg, which kind hearted soul would buy these for me?? Lady Gaga Heartbeat Headphones ): Aren't they just the most beautiful pair of headphones everrrr? *sigh* But their like, 200 bucks! Omg right? Oh well... ADAM LAMBERT MIGHT BE COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!!! :D ANYONE WANNA GO WITH ME TO HIS CONCERT IF HE COMES? (: Training tomorrow, roll-off again, hope I play well xD Anyway, gonna do A-Math (: BYEEE!

2010-02-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

I love 3/5, but I miss 2/8 alot :(

2010-02-01T22:58:00.001+08:00

Sure you'd remember her cos she's never around. But i'm always here for you and you take me for granted. Fine, i'm done. I'm done with YOU and your selfishness, your self-centredness, your inability to care for anyone but YOURSELF you bitch. FYI, the world doesn't revolve around you and your empty head. It never did it never will. If you don't work hard for what you want, how can you expect it to come to you just like that? And the worst part is, you bitch about those who DID work hard and earned their reward. You're just sad and pathetic. Everytime I look at you, it's like staring at an ugly statue. You're a waste of space.andsinceunvrcomehereillsayyournamecolette.

2010-01-31T21:54:00.002+08:00

You say you're sorry. It seems to me that even though some people say it's the hardest word to say, it just overflows from your mouth. You say things you don't even mean. I love you, i'll always be there for you, you can count on me BLAH BLAH BLAH.

And no i'm not talking about a guy, i'm talking about her. You know her, there's one in everyone's life. The girl who is so self-centered, so selfish you just feel like strangling her. She gets the guys, sure. But they mean nothing to her, their just toys for her to play with for a few days.

You're one of her good friends one day, and the next, she's ignoring you. What did you do? Who knows... You try and help her, you're nice to her and when you get tired of it and start avoiding her, she starts bitching about you.

I mean, what does ANYONE see in her? Sure, she may be pretty. So what? She probably says she's fat, when everyone, including her, knows that she's the skinniest person around. Attention-seeking brat. She's a bitch.

2010-01-27T18:20:00.002+08:00

She loves him more, he loves her more
Seems like they aint ever gonna let each other go
Laughing and kissin'
It's a match made in heaven

Behind the rings on their fingers
Imprints the ink deep in the inner
That has stained their souls together now
Stained 'soul mates' forever now

Seems like they've made it to the other side
Where the grass is greener and the sky is always blue
And it goes on forever and ever
But there is only room for two

Deep at night I'm awakened from my dreams
Next door yelling, cries, 'Mercy'
she is begging please
'Don't end my life you're all I need'
And darling I will never leave, never leave
And then she prayed on her knees

She said

Save him, save him

From the hand that he beats me on

Dark clouds cover her paradise
She covers her eyes and hides
Behind enemy lines
And she walks through the night with her child in her arms
She's thrown back hostaged

See twenty years ago
When she was just ten years old
Lost in imagination
She was left alone
And Paps had nothing to let his anger on

Oh he beat her cold, yes he did
He beat her cold
She used to pray on her knees

She said
Save him, save him

From the hand that he beats me on

Deep at night I'm awakened from my dreams
Next door yelling, cries 'Mercy'
She's beggin please, begging please, begging please

'Get up, Get up'
He brings her to her feet and smacks her down till she falls to the ground
Oh and over and over again
He brings her to her feet till she can no longer stand

Oh and still the beating never ends
On and on and on it goes
Until he brings out a gun
And says to her
'Stop crying and bring me my son'

She cries harder and harder
He cries harder and harder
She says
'Baby please don't, don't do this'

Oh two shots to her chest
And a blow to his own head
She quickly loses breath
And blood rushes to their bed

And baby cries

He cries his eyes out

Save him, save him from the hand that he beats me on

She loves him more, he loves her more
Seems like they ain't never let each other go
Laughing and kissin'
It's a match made in heaven

2010-01-26T12:03:00.001+08:00

Omg, I ate another push pop and now my toungue hurts, it's orange wtf? Hahahaha xD I'm gonna be soooooo high! Lalalala, okay, bye! Chinese is OVER. BYE! Leaving yet? No? BYE.

2010-01-17T18:22:00.003+08:00

OBS tomorrow! Wish me luck! I hope I have fun, even though I don't get to bathe... Haha ewwwwww xD 2010 has been an interesting year so far :) I like all my teachers, well... Their all pretty nice, so yay! (: I find it easier to study when I like my teacher... GUESS WHAT?! I'm actually paying attention in Chinese class now! Haha! Lalala, what else shall I type? My cat's guarding my door haha he's so cute xD I'm ALONE. Omg, getting pretty freaked out now... Haha okay, bye (:

2010

2010-01-03T18:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's the 1st year,

of the 2nd decade,

of the 3rd millenium.

Awesome right? Haha xD

Missed New Year's in Singapore, but KL was better anyway :) Haha, poor Troy spent New Year's alone ): School starts tomorrow, i'm nervous but excited at the same time. Oh, and here's the best part, I haven't finished my homework! I've still got Math, which is like, 40 questions... Anyway, I got a new haircut, which makes my face look fatter than it already is... But oh well, it's just hair :) No New Year dedications this year, i'm much too lazy... Anyway, I better get started on my homework. Bye! :D

2009-12-25T13:20:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!

Guess what i'm doing on Christmas Day? Sitting at home watching Michael Jackson concerts and listening to my mum frying a chicken. Why listening? Cos' she keeps going "OUCH!" from oil splattering everywhere. Guess frying the chicken wasn't a very good idea...

2009-12-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

Wish I was skinny.

Poo...

Went out with Sufi today, watched Sherlock Holmes and New Moon (again). I swear, New Moon just gets worse and worse. It's SOOO sappy! And I mean, wouldn't it be an easy choice? Rob Pat or Taylor Lautner, DUH. Taylor Lautner! He's got like, a TEN-PAC! Not just SIX-PAC, a TEN-PAC. And those shoulders? Omg. They should have casted Edward better :( Chace Crawford! *swoon* Sherlock Holmes was COOOOOOOL :D Robert Downey Jr. is SO hot. And so's Jude Law and Rachel McAdams is so pretty. Bought two books and Christmas presents (: Anybody wanna buy me The Sims 3 World Adventures? Haha, it's 60 bucks I think... Eh, i'll wait till my birthday and get my mum to buy it for me (: But if someone got it for me, i'd be veryyyyyy appreciative :D Hahaha, just kidding, don't buy it. Hmm, I like italic, it looks pretty (: Tolstoy is a good writer, loving Anna Karenin :D Anybody have anything they really want for Christmas? Tag me! If I can afford it I just might get it for you (: Lalala, i've got so much homework I haven't even started on... Oh well, i'll start tomorrow. Hahaha (: bye!

2009-12-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

Wowww, I haven't blogged in a really long time. I've realised something... Some people don't enjoy reading huge chunks of words, but, i'm not that kind of person so I shall continue typing huge chunks of words :D Okay, lame. Anyway, SUFIYAH'S back! Yay! Everybody cheer, whoop di doop ^^ Went out with her and Cavell yesterday, watched Princess and the Frog, pretty good movie (: Ohhh, MILO was AWESOME :D Haha, my mum said I can go next year yayyy (: Pretty sure nobody'll be going next year though since we're not sponsored by the school... Going to Lido tomorrow with Sufi again, mini-movie marathon! Hahaha, we're gonna watch Sherlock Holmes and New Moon back to back ^^ Hahaha, and the shoppinggg! Which... I hate. But whatever. Okay, i've got this pounding headache that's making me nauseous, so i'm gonna go to bed. BYE! :D

2009-11-27T17:40:00.001+08:00

So fucking sick of everything.

I thought I could count on you, but I guess I was wrong.

2009-11-13T16:35:00.001+08:00

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares

...

2009-10-23T20:37:00.002+08:00

You know, I really hate people who have absolutely NO sense of other people's feelings. Like when people are getting back their results? If they don't want to tell you their score, LIVE WITH IT. You don't HAVE TO KNOW, anything that people DON'T WANT to TELL you! JEEZ. And stop comparing yourself to her, because you're NEVER going to be better than her, in ANY way. She's a better person than you'll EVER be. And when you get HIGHER than someone, or LOWER than someone, don't give them a stupid face. When you do better than them, don't SMIRK or GLOAT and when you do WORSE, don't give them that stupid, 'I could've done better than you any day' look. I'm not over-exaggerating here, EVERYBODY thinks so! And the WORSE part is? YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT! And you think 'GOD' even CARES? If there even WAS a 'GOD', I don't think he'd BOTHER with the likes of YOU. What are the Seven Deadly Sins? Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Lust, you don't have, at least I think you don't. Gluttony, YEAH. Greed, YEAH. Sloth, YEAH. Wrath, YEAH. Envy, YEAH. Pride, YEAH. That's SIX, out of SEVEN. Yeah, 'GOD' wouldn't care.

Time For Miracles!

2009-10-18T15:47:00.002+08:00

It's late at night and I can't sleep

Missing you just runs too deep

Oh I can't be thinking of your smile

Every kiss you can't forget

This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it(feel it)
You know I can hear it(hear it)
So can you feel it feel it....

You know it's time....

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love

You know I ain't giving up on us
You know I ain't giving up on
Oh I ain't giving up on us

Omg, I love this song xD Adam Lambert is a fucking miracle, he's saved the music industry and he is going to make history yes he is :) I can't wait for his 'glitterier' album :D I have never gone so utterly psycho for a star before until now :) I just realized that he's got really hot friends, Cassidy Haley, Drake Labry (his boyfriend), Brad Bell... Omg, all so incredible HOT!!! ^^ The whole song is out on youtube go and check it out :) I am SOOO buying his album when I go to KL for Milo, if it's out by then, which I hope it is... Oh well, we'll see :D

2009-10-15T18:25:00.004+08:00

Training was fun (: Had a french fry high, WHOOPS! Haha, too long without my dear friends, I had and overdose ): Now I have to work it off :D Okay, I better go before I change my mind xD BYE! ^^ wewereperfectbutnowitsoverguesswejustwerentmeanttobe.

My LOVES :D

2009-10-14T18:28:00.002+08:00

Yep, I love my friends yesiree ^^ Yesterday was super fun :) Well, towards the end it got more fun haha xD ABBY IS SO CUTE I SWEAR OMG. Oh. I just realized that Trudy's not in that picture... And neither is En Ping 0_0 ooooo... OH WELL. Sunny With A Chance Of Fishballs, I mean meatballs, was sooooo retarded omg xD Hahahaha :D Cycling was fun! But it started raining, I like blowing up that huge inflatable punching Pooh/Tigger Domo bought :) OH OH OH! AND WE MADE A WISH ON A LIGHTBULB!! :D Colette's crazy idea haha xD Yeah, yesterday was awesome :)

AND SO WAS TODAY! I love you WILLNETT/ WB!! Hahahahaha xD SO FUNNY!!! ^^ FAME WAS SO COOL xD No pics though, we're camera shy, whoopsie ^^

2009-10-12T21:14:00.002+08:00

Some people are so delusional... Like all those people going on and on about God? Yeah, their delusional. If God existed, why are people dying all over the world? Why do people suffer? Why do people feel pain? I can go on and on with my reasons but I won't because there are the OTHER type of delusional people I know and probably am.

THE PEOPLE WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH LOSING WEIGHT.

These people have no boundaries. Either they exercise, or they starve. I'm only talking about the EXTREME cases, which is not me.... (Seeing as, i'm still fat) Starving yourself isn't good... And i'm not saying this just because I can't starve because I have no self-discipline (which is true). All the professionals say it too, and don't fool yourself into thinking that you know better than them, cos' you don't, THAT'S being delusional. I found this on a website dedicated to helping teenagers with eating disorders.

" I used to starve myself, and then when people made me eat i used to throw up afterwards..due to his I'm now so ill, i have so many health problems, due to starving and being sick, i have an inflamed chest which hurts so much, stomache ulcers and a real low immune system so i catch everything, i now have salmonella, to be honest I've had every illness and the doctors have said its because of being so stupid with starving myself and bulimia and now I'm paying for it, i can't hold down a job having to take so much time off sick and basically am so depressed, its not worth it..."

Please. Don't think that this won't ever happen to you. Don't roll your eyes at this post. Don't think that people are just making this up, because their not. Starving, is not the way to lose weight. And yeah, I know, "Who the hell does this fat bitch think she is? If she were so smart, how come she's still so fat?" Yeah, i'm fat, but at least I don't suffer from stomach ulcers, those are painful. And at least I don't have low immunity, like an AIDS patient. I'd rather be fat, than sick all the time. And if you think you'd rather be sick than fat? Then you're delusional. And you're probably sick of hearing this, but you're perfect exactly the way you are. Plus, if you stop eating, your metabolism slows down and you actually end up gaining twice as much as what you lost... If you lose weight by STARVING yourself, you won't end up looking BEAUTIFUL, you'll end up looking pale, bony and anemic. You don't lose FAT, you lose muscle.

FREEDOM!

2009-10-12T15:45:00.003+08:00

I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

I'M FREAKING FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You CANNOT imagine how bloody happy I am right now ^^ SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!

Going to watch Sunny With A Chance Of (fishballs) Meatballs tomorrow with Colette, DOMO, Val, Lynette, En Ping, Abby, Trudy and Jayne :D YAY! :D And then cyclinggggggggggggg and ECP ^^

2009-10-10T13:15:00.001+08:00

SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T FOCUS AND JUST SIT MY LAZY ASS DOWN TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! D:

Just gonna slip in a quick post before I go eat dinner (:

2009-10-05T20:03:00.002+08:00

School was SUCH a waste of time today, out of the 6 periods of studying we're supposed to have, FIVE of them were free periods... PLUS, the teachers who actually BOTHERED to come, kept getting the periods mixed up, so hilarious! Oh, with the exception of Mrs Taufiq (: I seriously think our teachers have given up on us, our Science and Lit teacher didn't come today, and Science is next Monday and Lit is this Friday... *sigh* How sad ): Ok, dinner's ready :) BYE!

2009-10-03T12:20:00.002+08:00

3 tests down, 5 to go... SO glad geography is over, hate geog, never ever gonna take it. Useless shit, who wants to know about Singapore anyway... I think i'll take Modern History next year (: To hell with econs, i'll never be able to get in...

Ahhhh, gonna start a countdown to Adam Lambert's album (: YAY!! Can't. Wait. :D WHOO! Okay, anyway (: Haven't blogged in quite a long time, need to get some stuff out (: Two fucking bitches i've had the PLEASURE of knowing, so pissed off with them. Worst part is, they can't take a hint... JEEZ.

You call me tactless? Man, look in the mirror, you don't even KNOW what tactless is... You think you're so awesome? Open those tiny eyes, you're living in a fairytale. And stop trying to compare yourself to others, or at least if you do, don't WALK UP to them and say, "I don't care i'm gonna beat you." NOBODY CARES, jeez, all you're doing is making the other person feel worse. And then after that, you're so TACTFUL, you act all nice around them and sugary sweet, you're not fooling anyone. God you're such a bitch...

AND YOU. You think you're so popular? Popularity doesn't even matter. And haven't you noticed that nobody talks to you in school unless you start talking to them first? You're like a human Singapore, if you weren't so amazingly situated where all the chatter goes on in class, nobody would even care about you. Just like Singapore and it's stupid little kiasu self. Just reading the geography textbook makes me SICK. "Oh, we signed a protocol to decrease the emission of greenhouse gases, this shows how committed Singapore is to reducing the problem of global warming." GOD SHUT UP. JEEZ. You're a TINY little dot on the map, nobody even cares about you, one atomic bomb could destroy the whole of Singapore. And if nobody's telling you about what their saying VOLUNTARILY, means they DON'T WANNA TELL YOU. Stop going "TELL ME TELL ME!" It's SOOOO annoying, what are you FIVE? Jeez...

2009-09-18T19:14:00.002+08:00

You are such a selfish, self-centred, annoying fucker. First of all, the world does not revolve around you. NOBODY CARES whether you DON'T CARE, so just fucking shut up. Second of all, my friends, are my friends. This is MY life, I can CHOOSE who I want to be friends with and I don't need YOU telling me what to do. Thirdly, you think everybody worships the ground you walk on? Your mother might, but everybody else? WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR STUPID SCREWED UP LIFE. Fourthly, please understand that the word 'BITCH' does NOT refer to people who don't listen to what you say. BITCH refers to people, LIKE YOU. And last but not least, if you want to die and you think your life is SO miserable, why don't you just commit suicide? Because believe me, like I said before, NOBODY WILL CARE. And just because you're caucasian, doesn't mean that you're so special. So shut the fuck up.

Last Post till October the 13th (:

2009-09-13T14:58:00.002+08:00

OKAY, this HAS TO BE my last post, exams are coming REALLYYYY soon and I haven't even STARTED studying i'm so dead. Adam Lambert broke my heart ): He chose VENUS over MARS! D: WHYYYYY?! Oh well... Ok, I have to list down all the things I cannot do till after exams.

NO FAST FOOD.
NO GOING ON FACEBOOK.
NO GOING ON TWITTER.
NO GOOGLE-ING ADAM LAMBERT.
NO USING MY DAD'S I-PHONE/ SISTER'S I-TOUCH.
NO BLOGGING.
NO MSN, UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
NO READING UNIMPORTANT BOOKS.
NO WASTING TIME.
NO SLEEPING BEFORE 10.30PM AND WAKING UP LATER THAN 10AM.

Ok :) And yes, I know number one has absolutely nothing to do with studying or exams, but I couldn't help putting that in :) Ok, GOODBYE BLOG! GOODBYE (non-existant) READERS! I'LL MISS YOU DEARLY! D:

2009-09-13T02:12:00.000+08:00

I couldn't resist. This is an AMAZING photo :)

2009-09-12T12:36:00.002+08:00

People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

I need you, need you

Since you left me if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute
She's just a substitute

Because you're the permanent one..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oh yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

Love this song :) Especially the Adam Lambert version, can't stop listening to it... The lyrics are amazing xD

2009-09-11T14:58:00.002+08:00

You know, of all the negative posts I have, the majority of them, are about you. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Jesus christ I swear I could just KILL you. You probably don't even know who you are because you're such an egoistic JERK. People don't WAIT at home for you to text them. And they certainly don't care if you're BORED or LONELY. And if you want people to CARE, treat them nicely dickhead. If they text you, REPLY. Jeez, didn't your mum teach you manners? Oh wait! I forgot, you're a son of a bitch :]

This is for you, dickhead. Hope you know who you are, if not, you''re just as dumb as I thought.

2009-09-10T17:46:00.003+08:00

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you, I could say this a thousand times and it wouldn't be enough to express how much I really hate you. You call me when you're bored, you text me when you're bored, you msn me when you're bored. And then when you're not bored anymore, you don't reply. I'm not a fucking robot. I don't sit by my phone or computer WAITING for people to call, text or msn me. Who the fuck do you think you are? You're NOTHING. You're a fucking failure. SCREW YOU you fucking asshole. Screw you you fucking lizard boy.

2009-09-09T22:29:00.001+08:00

It would be wrong to say I don't deserve it, but if this is what I did to you, if this pain i'm feeling is what you felt, then i'm really, truly sorry.

2009-09-08T11:27:00.003+08:00

You know how a lot of people can come up with all these really amazing phrases and sentences to express themselves? I can't. And yeah, I wish I could. Because the truth is, I have no idea how to express them and it HURTS. It hurts so bad, the type of pain that you feel so acutely but you have no idea how to get rid of. The type of pain that just eats at you and reaches every part of your body. I smile when i'm sad, when I just can't take the pathetic self-pity. So I smile, and I laugh and I act like everything's fine. You know those times when you see me in class, and I'm sitting there, staring into space or looking out the window, with a blank expression on my face? Those are the times i'm really happy. Those are the times I feel normal, like i'm not putting on a show for people. People don't understand teenagers and it's not because they can't. It's because they don't want to. They brush it off like it's just an everyday thing, which it is. Sometimes. They think, or 'remember' that their teenage years were when they made the most mistakes and they blame it on their feelings. Every wrong thing they did, they blame on their feelings. But why? Why would you blame it on your feelings? Feelings are neutral. It just depends on how your mind works, if you want to do someting negative about it, then you will. So when most people see teenagers who cut themselves, or are aggressive, they say, "Oh, their teenagers, it's normal." What if it ISN'T. What if the feelings we're feeling are real. It's different, what we're feeling and what they felt are two very different things. Because we're all different people.

2009-09-06T17:09:00.002+08:00

Wowww, today was like, super tiring. Well, not tiring, just, kind of.... slow? A bit boring at some parts... But training was FUN :D Hahaha, I couldn't stop smiling, don't know why... I think maybe I was a bit high? But like, I didn't even eat breakfast so I have no idea what I was high ON... I think Uncle Helmi thought I was a bit crazy, I kept smiling at him and saying hi. Haha, so stupid xD Karen and Anabel never come :( The first time in ages that i've gone for training and they don't come :( So sad... Oh well, I had fun anyway :D Still can't do the fingering thing, i'm scared the ball will get stuck... Which it did! Once. Oh well, I need to train harder, have to improve for Milo :) This week is gonna be FUN. I'm going to the SPCA! Maybe I can see the cat that fell asleep on my lap, so cute :) Yep, Monday going with SIANG MIN AND NELLY :D And Tuesday going with GRACE and SAM :D Mmmhmm, so this holidays is supposed to be quite okay :) But I have a LOT of mugging to do, i'm so scared for end years... But I guess just have to work hard and see what happens :) Yep, anyway, time to start on my Science. Bye! :D

My 200th post :D

2009-09-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

Wowwww, have I really blogged that much?? Almost every single day.... Haha, so weird, doesn't feel like it. Yeah, for my 200th post celebration I shall do DEDICATIONS! :D Awesome? Well, I think so :)

SUFIYAH FITZGERALD!!! :D

Ello my bestest best friend, who doesn't ever read my blog but whatever, I miss you! Yeah, I miss seeing your face almost everyday. But i'm happy that you're happy in Saudi :) Thanks for always being there for me and always listening to my problems :) LOVE YOU TO THE MAXXXXX :DD

COLETTE (LAURETH) TAN!! :D

PONY GIRL! Haha, you brighten my days :) When you're happy that is... Thanks for following me to the SPCA all the time! And thanks for playing planets with me! I'm from Mars and you're from Pony Land, the Martian and the Pony Lander :D Sorry I laughed when you got attacked by that dog xD Sorry Ashley got adopted :( Thanks for always going with me for recess and stuff, even though we have our ups and downs, I always know I can count on you to bitch about people with me haha xD PS: LAMB-BERT (not BURP) rocks xD

ANABEL KHAW!! ^^

ANABEL the cute one! Hahahaha, see, I called you cute! :D Thanks for always making me laugh at your cuteness xD I know you don't like __ anymore, but yeah, I think you guys are very suited :) Haha xD And stop hurrying and rushing! You've got to stop once in a while and look around, take in the fact that YES, PEOPLE DO LOVE YOU OKAY!

KAREN TEO. THE BLUR ONE. (See I remembered that your fave colour is green :D)

HEHHHHHHH, you're gonna kill me :) But I think you leaving your bag in school and going off is damn classic xD Hahahahaha, thanks for... hmmm... HURTING ME. YEAH. No, just kidding :) Thanks for being an awesome bowling partner! I will always remember the silver we got during Novice 2009! :D

NG SIANG MIN! :D

SIANG MIN! :D Haha, I LOVE our spastic hugs! SO CUTE! :D Hahaha xD Thanks for always laughing with me during training! Thanks for being an amazing bowling partner for C'div! Though we didn't win anything (due to my terrible, horrible, dispicable performance...) I will always remember it! You're so sweet, cheered me up when I wasn't doing well :)

ONG CHENG TING :D

DOMO!!!! Hahaha, you are DAMN DAMN DAMN cute I swear! :D Hahaha, your laugh is HILARIOUS, everytime I think about your laugh I tend to laugh out loud, making the people around me think i'm crazy :) THANK YOU FOR LENDING ME MONEY AND BUYING ME ANOTHER DRINK WHEN YOU THREW MINE AWAY! :D You're damn cute xD

VALERIE CHUA! ^^

VALLLLLLL!!! Hahaha, you're also very very very cute! Hahaha, although I don't know you that well, but I still think you're damn awesome :D Haha, I will always remember you as the person who stole my seat! Hahaha, JUST KIDDING! :D OMG. I remember that time OCT kept doing that, omg, damn annoying! Hahaha xD

LYNETTE LEE! ^^

AHHHHHH!!! POPPY! But not a POP anymore... Haiyo, so now what shall I call you? So sad... I still remember you and OCT on the first day of school! :D First POP in our class, first POP in the Sec 2 cohort xD I will always remember you as the one who always wants me to massage her xD

JAYNE MARIE ROZARIO! :D

Or better known as FAYNE FARIE FOZARIO xD I still remember that lame day when we started changing the first letters of everybody's name! BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I WILL REMEMBER YOU FOR! :D Hahaha, MY FELLOW GLAMBERT! :D Adam Lambert ROCKS :D Hahaha, I will always remember you as the person who gets tto go to awesome concerts all the time, what a lucky duckie xD

DESIREE SEETO! :D

ZEZIREE! I remember me and Sufi used to call you CHOPPY! Hahaha, but now you're not chairman and o longer a POP... *sigh* So many changes :) I'll always remember you as the one whose hair is so shiny it's WHITE :D Hhahahaha, that was funny :D ALSO A FELLOW GLAMBERT!!! YAY!

SO many people to thank, but so little time. I'm so tired, I have tennis tomorrow :) AWESOME tennis :D I'm planning to cycle there :D Ok, BYE BYE!! I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS YES I DO! :D

PS: I'm a BIT high...

2009-09-04T21:14:00.003+08:00

Now I realize why I don't need you and why I don't really care if you need me. Because either way, we always end up getting pissed off with each other, wondering why the hell we even started talking in the first place. And then you go and say something stupid which just pushes me over the edge.

2009-09-03T23:08:00.003+08:00

Omg! My cat is so cute! He's licking my bed omg! Hahaha, damn damn cute xD He makes me laugh at him all the time, he's just soooooo cute xD AHHH, there he goes again, licking the bed haha so cute xD Omg, he just rolled over!!! Omg, something about night time that makes him become so adorable xD

2009-09-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK. Karen's mum just told me during training today that I can't join Novice in November because I got into Masters last time. NOOOOOOOO! OMG, I was SO looking forward to Novice! ARGH! And so now, either I don't bowl, or I bowl B'div. BLEH, don't want, so hard xD

2009-09-02T21:21:00.002+08:00

Damned D&T. Omg, STUPID SUBJECT! Stupid D&T file. Hate you. Had this retarded Chinese News Production shit today, what a waste of time! Spent practically the whole day there and only got home at 7.30pm, but Eatz with Colette, En Ping, OCT, Lynette and Val was fun :D Hahaha, love them to bits, awesome people :) Yeah, then waited for the bus to come and PEGGY came! :D Hahaha, she's damn cute omg xD Yeah, and then she saw her brother but she didn't go over, yay! She stayed with me till my bus came, what an awesome friend :D She and her brother look like TWINS!!! Hahahahaha it's so cute, if she hadn't told me it's her older brother, I would have thought they were twins :D Yep, anywayy, off to do the damned D&T folio, waste my time... BYE! :D

2009-08-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKING TACTLESS PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. GO SCREW YOURSELF BITCH.

2009-08-28T22:20:00.001+08:00

Lonely is just one word chosen yet it represents so much
To tell of feelings inside that the senses cannot touch

Lonely can be in the teardrops on a bereaved person’s cheek
Lonely can be in the silence of sorrows too deep to speak

Lonely can haunt a deserted room that Laughter once made proud
Lonely surrounds you when you’re alone or finds you in a crowd

Lonely is heard in echoed footsteps of a departing friend
Lonely penetrates the solitude of nights that will not end

Lonely will not listen to the pleadings of a broken heart
Lonely stays and torments until new love shatters it apart

2009-08-28T22:18:00.002+08:00

The angels are lonely,

That is why it rains

The mountains are lonely,

That’s why it stays

The fire is lonely,

That’s why it burns

Time is lonely,

That’s why it turns

The mirrors are lonely,

That’s why it reflects,

The stones are lonely,

That’s why they're etched

The flowers are lonely,

That’s why it catches the eye

The birds are lonely,

That’s why they fly

The wind is lonely,

That’s why it blows

The clouds are lonely,

That’s why it doesn’t know where it goes

The ice is lonely,

That's why it melts

The tides are lonely,

That's why they swell

The darkness is lonely,

That's why it haunts

Heartbeats are lonely,

That's why they don't have a song

Everyone is lonely,

No one knows what to say

Even death is lonely,

That’s why it takes you away

2009-08-28T22:01:00.002+08:00

Loneliness is something,

You'd never wish on a person.

Something so painful,

It leaves you with nothing.

I could stop smiling

but who would believe why?
People could stop the pain from piling
but they wont hear me cry.

I am afraid of the world
but no one knows.
I'm just a lonely girl
putting on a show.

I know it sounds weird
but even the fake have feelings.
I know I wont be heard
so I try to work on smiling

2009-08-23T21:25:00.003+08:00

Went out with my dad today, thinking i'd be getting a new phone. BUT, it wasn't meant to be... *sigh* He promises me things ALL the time, but in the end, I never actually end up having those things... In May (my birthday), he told me he'd get me my phone in July. JULY IS LONG GONE. Do I have a new phone? No, and how old is the phone I have? Hmm... Let's see... Around 6 or 7 years old now :) Most people, own phones that are less than a year old. So now i'm getting my phone in DECEMBER, yeah sure, let's see if THAT happens.Okay, so yeah, then he tries to appease me by offering me a Macbook Pro. Okay, fine, YAY! But NO, we walk all the way up to the apple store in Great World City and we walk around and talk to the guy who's advertising. 10 min later, we walk out. Macbook Pro? No show. Why? Cos there wasn't a discount on it. When am I getting it? Oh I don't know. NEVER?You see, what really bothers me is not that I don't have a new phone or that I don't have a new computer. What bothers me is that i'm the only one among the three daughters he has that hasn't gotten my birthday present. Oh NOOOOO the others got theirs on time, EARLY EVEN. Rui Yi already HAS her new phone and her birthday is in a MODYLAN OMG I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE BEST!!! :DNTH. Mine was long gone FOUR MONTHS AGO.Ok, yeah, he's awesome bla bla bla and he doesn't owe me anything bla bla bla. WHATEVER. Even if he gave me a fucking chocolate bar i'd be happy, it's the fact he doesn't even care that bothers me. And EVERY time he talks to us about my mum, he goes on and on about how I, ME, am not doing ANYTHING to help. I fetch her water, I cook dinner sometimes, I clean my room, I do my homework, I do EVERYTHING to give her LESS STRESS. And my sisters? Calls come in EVERYDAY from their school, teachers complaining, vice-principal complaining. ONCE, the PRINCIPAL called to complain about their misbehaviour. And STILL their the apples of their eyes.He's ALWAYS assuming it's ME when things go wrong and that it's THEM when things go right. He ASSUMES that I do EVERYTHING to spite them or to make life difficult for them. Have you ever met a PERFECT person? I haven't. Everytime I do something good, he brushes it off. Everytime I do something WRONG, he won't stop talking about it. WELL FUCK HIM. I can't wait to get out of here. I can't wait to get awayy from this stupid, screwed up family. I don't care, i'm GOING to boarding school. Whether I have to throw fits and be a spoiled teenager to do it. I don't care, i'm GOING.

SO Hot >.<

2009-08-23T09:08:00.003+08:00

OMG. I just realized that adam lambert has GAY SEX with his boyfriend! I hope he doesn't get AIDS... Yeah, anyway their so sweet with each other ^^ check out their convo on twitter (CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK) :) I'm blogging less now cos i'm obsessed with twitter and facebook omg.. i'm a total internet junkie 0_0

Depressing 'inspirational' talks...

2009-08-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

Cheer up dearies don't cry :) When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world marvel at how you did it :) I think that's how it goes... Anyway, you'll always have your friends to support you every step of the way. No matter how much hurt there is inside of you or how muh guilt you feel, although it takes time and tons of tears, it'll heal, I promise. Nobody's perfect, everybody has their own little flaws. Your friends, TRUE friends mind you, love you just the way you are, with or without those flaws. No matter how small you feel or how little you think you matter, there are many, MANY people, including me, who think that the world would be nothing without you :) CHEER UP! Love you :)

MILO!!!!! :D

2009-08-20T08:22:00.002+08:00

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAYYYYY!!! :D :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I LOVE my daddy :D Yay yay yay yay! :D I can go for MILO I can go for MILO :D Ok, super happy now :) AND high... But that's cos I slept for 10hours... LOL xD ok, BYE :D

2009-08-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

Mum started her first cycle of chemo today, we've got to follow all these rules. We can't go near her without showering so we don't pass any infections to her cos the chemo really affects her immune system, she could die. We can't get too close to her, keep animals away from her, poor Troy D: Scary... My sister tried to tug at her hair to see if it would fall out, it was hilarious but sad at the same time... Oh well, too tired to post about today, except it was super fun, especially drama ed omg... PONY GIRL! :D

D: Oh the cruelty of all that is human :(

2009-08-14T22:39:00.004+08:00

WARNING

THIS POST MAY DISTURB YOU AND INCLUDES DISTURBING AND GORY PICTURES OF POOR LITTLE ANIMALS WHO ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE OF THE SELFISHNESS OF HUMAN BEINGS.

My views and thoughts on Animal Cruelty.

Seriously, I can't stand people who are cruel to animals. I can't stand it when I see animals suffering. So I have decided to show all the people (probably like 0) who read this blog how cruel and selfish we humans can be.

What disturbs me about this picture is not the gashes or the stitches on his face, but how it got there. And where are it's ears? GONE. How? They were cut off. No, not with a sharp knife, quickly sliced off, which I think would have been less painful. They were cut off by a pair of SCISSORS. SCISSORS. Can you IMAGINE having your EARS cut off by a pair of SCISSORS?! And where is it's upper lip? Cut off as well, he was gashed with a knife. Can you imagine the kind of pain this poor dog went through? And when the authorities found it, it had almost bled to death. What kind of heartless, INHUMAN idiot would DO this?!

Would you kill this adorable seal? Would you? Just for fun?

These people would.

It's a SPORT to them, KILLING THESE ANIMALS, MURDERING THEM. IS A SPORT TO THEM. What kind of SICK MINDED barbarians are these people?

These seals aren't even properly dead, they bleed out slowly and painfully. Their usually hit around the mouth, either with clubs or with a gun. It takes at least half an hour of excruciating pain before they die. And if their not left to die, their skinned half alive. When I graze my knee, i'm already complaing. Their having their SKIN shaven off. Can you imagine the pain they go through? And all because these humans think it's FUN.

There's something I really hate about the Chinese. Yeah, I know, i'm Chinese too, but I mean THESE kind of Chinese. The type that feel nothing when they eat tiger testicles, or bear paws knowing that these animals are NOT FOR CONSUMING. They'd eat anything they can get their hands on. But the people I especially hate, are those that capture the bears or the tigers and keep them or harvest them. It's DISGUSTING.

We think we're so SUPERIOR, so IMPORTANT. But where would we be without animals? What food would we eat? Sure, you say we can be vegetarians. Without herbivores, plants would grow out of control. Without animal waste or decaying animals, how would the soil be fertilised? What makes us think we're better than them? Sure, we talk, we think, we INVENT things. All of this is for OUR OWN USE, for our own SELFISH use. DO we ever think about animals when we do things? When we chuck rubbish into waterbodies, do we think about the fish who might die choking on it or do we think about the water creatures when we put our GIGANTIC ships in the sea to leak oil? WHen we chop down forests, do we think about the animals whose homes we're destroying? NO. All we ever do is think about OURSELVES. We so-called 'rule' the Earth, what kind of terrible, heartless rulers are we if we let the inhabitants of this planet SUFFER like that?

This post is getting long, and i'm getting so pissed off, so i'm going to stop. I'll post more on this topic later, because, seriously? It HAS to STOP.

Omg..... SOOOOOO hungry D:

2009-08-14T12:01:00.002+08:00

5 more minutes till school ends...
I don't like math...
5 more minutes till school ends...
I hate sets.
5 more minutes till school ends...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANABEL :D
5 more minutes till school ends...
I wanna go to the beach...
5 more minutes till school ends...
I wanna build a bear...
5 more minutes till school ends...

YAY! :D What a RANDOM post. School's over :) YAY YAY YAY YAY. I wanna EAT, and SLEEP and ANNOY MY CAT. :D Ok, BYE :D I'm high btw... Just in case you're so gong you haven't realized :)

Dylan the Villain! :D haha, you like???

2009-08-13T18:48:00.002+08:00

Haha, I SO totally screwed up my summary writing, damn it. Omg, i'm gonna fail thank you very much. Training today was fun :) I can't stand D&T, bloody stupid subject, I swear. Anyway, back to training. Karen ah, never take her pills. She was so high today omg... Talked about Milo, I wanna GOOOOOO, but now my mum keeps talking about sending me and my sis to London or Adelaide, which don't mind either, but I REALLY wanna go for milo D: BAH. HOWWWW?! London, Adelaide or KL? Personally, i'd pick London xD Haha, but I wanna go for Milo too.... Urgh, nevermind, it's still so far away :) I'VE GOT A NEW NICKNAME FOR DYLAN. DYLAN THE VILLAIN. Suits? Totally xD Haha :D I'm just kidding, ily! :) Yeps, omg, so tired of my blogskin, I wanna change it D: But I can't find a nice one... Oh well... I wanna eat grapes now, BYE! :D

Ack...

2009-08-06T21:03:00.003+08:00

Horrible bout of food poisoning damn it... I threw up like 2 times and I feel like shit, but on the BRIGHT SIDE :D Maybe i'll lose weight! xD Haahaha :) Ack, my mouth tastes like crap... Urgh. Seriously, puking is like the most horrible thing, NEVER will I be bulimic xD Hahaha :)Was SUPER DUPER pissed with someone today, like what the hell is wrong with you? There's one song that superbly describes you, Hot and Cold by Katy Perry. Like what did I do to you? All i've ever been is helpful, I listen when you talk, I sympathise when you bitch about people, I wait for you, I basically am your fucking servant. And you treat me like what? SHIT. You run to the people who ignore you, you're all friendly with them when you're around them and then behind their backs you're saying what bitches they are. FUCK YOU. You're just a selfish, boring, bitchy screw-up. And I, don't care about you anymore, you can go fuck yourself for all I care. You're probably bitching about me behind my back like you do with EVERYONE else, so go screw yourself because I don't care anymore.

Nobody understands me nobody really cares.

2009-08-05T21:07:00.003+08:00

Isn't it funny how when you CONSTANTLY do things for people, they start to take it for granted? And then you see another person doing ONE thing for them and their practically worshipping the person. THANKING them like their some kind of DEITY... It's fucking annoying (another plus point of not being a POP, I can SWEAR :D) Maybe it hasn't ever happened to you, then whatever, count yourself lucky... I got SOOO pissed today. (Thanks for trying to cheer me up can't believe you got up at 6am just to reply my e-mail xD have fun in new york, luckyyy... :]) Urgh, i'm not reliving today, not EVER, fucking horrible life I live, oh and my mum's cancer spread. Great isn't it? FUCK my life, I wish I could just DIE.

I went to bed with you on my mind >.<

2009-08-04T21:08:00.003+08:00

Teehee xD Happy day happy day :) I was HIGH. Like SERIOUSLY high. I was MIMING with colette and peggy during English, omg, DAMN funny. Sophia and Sun Ming were like, totally laughing at us, haha ^^ Ok, today was like, a DAMN happy day, first of all ME PASSED ME MATH! :D If i'm lucky, I might even be able to get a B YAY!

Yeah, AND i'm not a POP anymore!

GRATS TO ANABEL, YEE THIEN AND ELI FOR PASSING!!! :D You guys TOTALLY deserve it :D

OH YEAH, now I can go on HOLIDAY during the HOLIDAYS instead of rehearsals and what not :) No more gate duty and whatever, so I can wake up later! I am seriously relieved xD And yeah, most of the time I was at rehearsals and stuff, I just sat there and practically did nothing cos there was NOTHING TO DO. Like that day we had to go at SIX IN THE MORNING. Yeah, so got there, and just sat around because they didn't even need us... It's like WHAT. THE. HELL. So now i'm in RANT mode, but I shall save it for the poor unfortunate souls who call me at 2 in the morning when I am in my WORST mood. *ahem ahem mel & dyl ahem ahem*

Yeah, so, ANYWAY. Another good thing that happened today? HISTORY! :D A1 like OH YEAH! :D Hopefully this pulls up my C5 last term... I SERIOUSLY have to study more, especially for Science and practice more for Math OH and GEOG. So I can pull up the fail from last term... Grrr, still damn pissed with that... Yeah, so this week has been quite a happy week so far :) I've spent like at least an hour every night devoted to French, which by the way is really hard... Yep, and Mel has promised to help me over like webcam and stuff, which is totally awesome :) OH. MEL. SHUT. UP.

Kay, gots to go nows :) BYE! :D *signing off, the wormy xD aka GOOFY :D* felt like saying that xD

She says she's okay, but beneath her smile is a broken heart...

2009-08-03T19:36:00.005+08:00

Heh. I screwed my chinese oral, not that I didn't expect to xD But i'm SO lucky I got huang lao shi as my examiner my god, damnnnnn luck :) Had THREE tests today, 2.4km run, English narrative essay and chinese oral :) OH, you know I had this really terrible dream last night, I dreamt I failed English. I have NEVER in my ENTIRE life, FAILED english, so I was like SOOO scared for today's paper, which I think I did badly for because it was like, a total rush job. Yep, then had training, it was okay, felt high strangely 0_0 yeah, so had fun annoying karen to death muahahahahaha xD Okay, dinner time, bye! :D iloveyoutoo<3staywithmeforever,idontcareaboutthedistanceanymore.

2009-07-31T21:16:00.002+08:00

I liked it when we knew where we stood, when everything was so clear. When you had yours and I had mine. But now it's as if my vision's blurred, like everything is being seen through frosted glass. One day I feel like I know you, and the next it's like you closed the door between us. So why is it so hard for me to just walk away and forget about you. Even though we're oceans apart, I guess i've never really known how much I would miss you if you disappeared from my life. So here's my pathetic confession, that my life would be empty if I didn't have you.

OMG. SHIT.

2009-07-24T23:39:00.002+08:00

Oh crap, guess what? The oh-so clever, amazingly SMART me, went and screwed up her ankle AGAIN. Damnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!! When will I EVER stop being so CLUMSY?! I am seriously fed-up with myself. How the HELL am I supposed to do NAPFA next week and 2.4km next next week?! ARGH!

HP IQ 520!!!!! :D

2009-07-23T22:16:00.003+08:00

School is painfully boring.... And EXAMS are coming up, bleh. Now I have to study or I won't get my IQ520 TOUCHSCREEN COMPUTER!!!! :D But I think my dad's made up his mind :) He's such a nice person xD He's got some HP Alumni discount, so if he buys me my computer, he'll get a $300 discount plus free mini speakers and a 4GB thumbdrive :)

YAY! I'm so happy OMG ^^ Sims3 I can play you now! My mini computer can't play it cos it doesn't have a virtual memory card whatever thingy xD AND I SPENT $60 BUYING THE CD when it came out on the 2nd of July or was it 3nd of June? Can't remember... But anyway, took me like what? 3months to save up? Yeah...

And plus if I get my computer, I have to save up to buy my new phone and after buying all the books I wanted I only have $100++ left! And my dad won't get me a cash card for my savings account! So all my savings are stuck in a savings account... Which sucks... All you people with the cashcards that your parents constantly top up are SO lucky! If I hadn't lost my wallet so many times this year, maybe i'd have saved more, damn careless self.. Jeez. Yep, so now no recess for me, cut down on going out to eat so that I can save AT LEAST $10 every week :) Which puts me at... $150 before the December holidays :) Maybe i'll be able to get my phone next year :D Ok, study Science, have to cover Transport in Living Things :) I LOVE BIO!!!!! :D

Who painted the moon black?

2009-07-22T21:07:00.002+08:00

I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love
He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke, I fake a smile
But I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I'd lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long
And he sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishin' he was mine

I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I'd lie

He stands there, then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breath for you

He'd never tell you
But he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My God, he's beautiful
So I put on my make-up
And pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you
His favorite color's green
And he loves to argue
Oh, and it kills me
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him...
if you ask me if I love him...
I'd lie

I LOVE this song :D It's by Taylor Swift and it's called I'd Lie :) But he doesn't have a sister, his favourite colour's red, the only colours in his eyes are blue and he doesn't like to argue :) OH, but he plays the acoustic guitar :)

Hour after hour, day after day, life just keeps getting more and more unbearable.

2009-07-21T19:58:00.002+08:00

I promised myself that I wouldn't say anything sad or morbid on this blog again. But when life gets harder to bear and those walls it throws in front of you become impossible to overcome, the only thing to do is vent. So here I am, venting. It's just one piece of bad news to the other for me right now. I wonder if it's a pattern... So my mum's starting her chemotherapy this week, which means that she won't be herself. She'll be weak, nauseous, hairless and possibly many more worse things. You know how sad it is to watch your mum suffer? And be completely powerless to help her? And the worst thing is, the percentage of the chemo helping her is a miserable 2%. So why would she want to go through with it in the first place? Because of that tiny, minimal, miserable hope that it could save her.

And then there's YOU. You and your stupid guts. Your fucking terrible EGO. You are SUCH a dumbass, so STUPID, I bet even your MOTHER doesn't love you. She probably can't stand to look at your face and be reminded of the stupid being she created. I am so pissed with you I can't even put it into words. All I know is that the next time I see you, I would like to kick you. Hard, and preferably in the lower-middle section of your pathetic body.

Added to that is another person. You wanna talk to my friends? FINE. I don't really give a damn, but if you want to spread rumors about me and tell all sorts of lies, then it's a different story. You're supposed to be my sister, but now I wonder if you actually are. Because i'm sure that normal sisters don't tell LIES about their sisters to other people. I already know what you're gonna be like when you grow up, a lying, cheating BITCH. Oh, and I hope you get AIDs while you're fucking all those guys. Or hopefully an STD, OH while you're at it, why don't you just get pregnant, that'd put the cherry on top of my ice-cream. Ruin your life, that'd be the PERFECT birthday present. In fact, you won't have to give me anything ever again, not that you ever did.

Outside i'm smiling,

But inside i'm dying.

A slow death.

A painful one.

Ballet Under the Stars 2009 :D

2009-07-20T22:49:00.007+08:00

OMG. The dancing was SO awesome, and yes, I know this post is like 3 days late but whatever. I'm to lazy to post... But it was kinda... sick. Cos the male ballet dancers wear these really tight pants and... yeah, you get what I mean right? No need to get into detail, ugh xD Hahaha, yep, got some pics, this time of MY OWN, so I don't have to wait for someone else to give them to me...

Me and Colette ^^ I look like shit, as always :)

COlette and my sis :D

JAYNE AND COLETTE :D Haha, Jayne the drunk xD Drunk on what you ask? COKE AND MASHED POTATO. Deadly combination people, take note :D

Yep anyway, had SO much fun with them hahah :) OH. And as an added bonus, I shall present to you the cutest 2 year old in the ENTIRE world :D

Isn't she just TOO cute?! She's SO adorable I swear :D *sigh* I wish she was my little sister :) She's my mum's friend's daughter :D Yep, that's it, BYE! :D

Poo Poo Poo....

2009-07-15T11:44:00.003+08:00

Ok, if you don't like people who complain then don't read on cos this a post of COMPLAINTS.... But you know what, I don't care (: OK, guess what? I'm such a bloody retard. I swear i'm the most DUMBASS person in the WORLD. I stepped in a hole in the ground and sprained my ankle, so I can't walk... AND GUESS WHAT?! It takes me FIFTEEN minutes to walk up the freakin stairs! BLOODY HELL....

Yeah, so the worst thing that could possibly happen to me in this period of my life, is to SPRAIN MY ANKLE. Why, you ask? Because I vowed to exercise EVERYDAY. So now I can't eat recess so I eat BREAKFAST during recess :) Smart ain't I? Hehehehehe, ok shut up... BLEH. I was looking forward to going out on sunday, but now I walk like an old man with osteoperosis (no offence to old men with osteoperosis). DAMN, so now I can't watch HARRY POTTER. GAH.

Pictures of my little kitty kitty! :D

2009-07-14T16:51:00.003+08:00

For those who have no idea what my little baby boy looks like :D I mean my cat, Troy, by the way :)

Ain't he just the cutest??

Lol, he kinda looks like a lizard here 0_0

He was just about to sleep :)

"I can't sleep" :(

This is when he was just a kitten :) SO CUUUUUUUUTE! :D

Omg, he's just so so so so so cute! I love him to bits omg xD

LOVE THIS! :D

2009-07-14T16:38:00.002+08:00

Love Drunk :)

The top down in the summer sun
The day we met was like a hit and run
And I still taste it on my tongue
The sky was burning up like fireworks
You made me want you oh so bad it hurt
But girl, in case you haven’t heard

I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I’ll love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it’s just a bar fight
It's just so complicated, say hello then goodbye.
Cause just one thing would make me say
I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I'll love you forever, but now it’s over

Hot, sweat and blurry eyes
We’re spinning on a roller coaster ride
The world, stuck in black and white
You drove me crazy every time we touched
But now I’m so broken that I can’t get up
Oh girl, you make me such a lush

I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I’ll love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now its just a bar fight
It's just so complicated, say hello then goodbye
Cause just one thing would make me say
I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I'll love you forever, but now it’s over

All the time I wasted on you
All the bullshit you put me through
Checking into rehab, cos everything that we had
Didn’t mean a thing to you

I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I'll love you forever, but now it’s over

I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I’ll love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it’s just a bar fight
It's just so complicated, say hello then goodbye
Cause just one thing would make me say

I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover
I'll love you forever, but now it’s over
Now it’s over, I still taste it on my tongue

Super duper AWESOME song :D Seriously. It's by Boys Like Girls and it's seriously THE best! :)

2009-07-12T18:47:00.002+08:00

I HATE MY SISTER. WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED BITCH HITS YOUR NOSE WITH HER FIST JUST BECAUSE YOU TELL HER TO GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM?! SERIOUSLY, SHE SHOULD JUST CHECK HERSELF INTO A FUCKING MENTAL INSTITUITION WHERE SHE CAN MIX AROUND WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST AS CRAZY AND SICK AND SCREWED UP, JUST LIKE HER. But on the bright side, now I know what it feels like to have a nose bleed. And btw, it hasn't stopped bleeding and it's been 10min.
Do you ever wish you had a way of release? To free yourself of the binds that hold you to the Earth, to your life? For some people, maybe it's cutting. But i'm too much of a coward to cut. Too scared of pain. Too terrified of not existing. Sometimes I wish I had that courage. To catch my skin with the knife and pull. But I don't have that courage, and maybe one day i'll be happy I didn't.

OMF

2009-07-12T01:16:00.001+08:00

OMF OMS OMG. I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE! OMG OMG OMG OMG! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VID. IT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! ADAM LAMBERT!!!!! :D He sings this song SOOOOOOOOOO well! OMG. King of ROCK :D Though I must admit it does look kinda gay xD

2009-07-11T15:01:00.002+08:00

THE WORDS THAT ARE THE HARDEST TO SAY, ARE THE ONE'S THAT MEAN THE MOST.
I just wanted to say, i've finally given up. I've realised that pain is not the outcome of a crush. But sometimes in the deepest recesses of my mind, i'll still give a thought to when we were friends. To the times when you were there to comfort me, encourage and remind me. This wasn't meant to sound like a corny poem, it's just the way my twisted mind works.
I cry for the time that you were almost mine,
I cry for the memories I've left behind,
I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new,
I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Lalalala xD

2009-06-30T16:21:00.002+08:00

HELLO! School has started :D Good and bad. Good cos' I get to see everyone again!! YAY! Bad cos' I don't get to sleep in anymore D: SAAAAD. Yep, so yesterday was super slack in school xD Hahaha :) Domo was so funny, she kept saying how everything felt wrong. Haha, what recess wrong, Colette's hair wrong, it was SO funny xD Today was funnier! haha, so much laughing, but I can't remember anymore. How bad is my memory? Haha :) Ok, gotta go now :) BYE!

crumpled papers of poems about you
written with words that will never come true
written in ink that will never fade away
the hopeful words I wish I could say.

SHIIITTTTTTT

2009-06-27T14:01:00.001+08:00

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP. OMF. I FORGOT WHAT HOMEWORK I HAVE. PLUS I LOST MY ENGLISH HOMEWORK. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF........................ DAMN IT.

Stay Close, Don't Go

2009-06-26T16:19:00.003+08:00

Today was funnnnn, well, for a day spent with my sisters it was :) Took pictures of Rui Yi because she looked so darn cute in her tank top xD Hahahahaha, and took pictures of Shu Yi because she looks like a retard :D I know i'm mean... Hahaha, still haven't finished all the holiday homework... PLUS, I have no idea what to study for the D&T test on Thursday... Crap :P Ok whatevver, bye! :D

Thinking of you...

2009-06-25T23:32:00.003+08:00

Went out with Sufi and Avrel today :D Watched Land Of The Lost, SOOOOO funny! Hahaha, but the cinema was like so cold... Came late as usual xD Haha, sorry Sufi... Yep, then waited awhile and we met Avrel at the MRT station. He was waiting at some corner, haha, just my luck I looked to the left. So funny, first thing Sufiyah said to Avrel was, "Omg, you look so different!(to Avrel) Is he taller than me(to me)?" Lol.... I find it SO unfair that guys shoot up so much, last year, their shorter than me and suddenly this year their half a head taller than me! WTH. Not fairrr... *sigh* anyway, then we went to Iluma to watch Land Of The Lost. Avrel looked so funny when Sufiyah paid for our tickets... And it was even funnier when Sufiyah and I literally battled each other to pay for the popcorn... Haha, the rest of the time was fun :) Very slack xD Hahahah :D Yeah then Avrel went home and Sufi and I went to Plaza Sing :) Yep then went to Vivo and waited for my mum. For a long time as usual... Haha, but whatever. Then went home and went for a jog :) Ok, gotta go now, bye! :D

I'm sorry...

2009-06-23T20:08:00.003+08:00

I miss the easy conversations we used to have. The way you always remembered, even when I forgot. I took our friendship forgranted and I regret it now. I never realised how important you are to me until now and i'm sorry. I hope it's not too late. I miss your cheerful smses and your random MSN convos. I miss the way you say hi to me. I'm sorry for making you angry or for whatever I did. I'm sorry. I realise now that no other guy I know can do what you do. Cheer me up when i'm at my lowest. I'm sorry for how i've treated you. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. And I know i'm the biggest bitch in the world for doing what I did to you. I'm really truly sorry. I hope you see this and I hope you know who you are. And if you think that I am the worst bitch in the world and can't bring yourself to forgive me, which I know I deserve fully, then I won't bother you ever again. I'm very very very sorry.

Samsung AYG Challenge :D

2009-06-21T19:20:00.002+08:00

Omg, today was SOOOOO FUN! Bowled the morning squad at 9.30am. Was ALMOST late cos of my sister, who took so long to change... Yeah, bowled quite okay, but still crappy D: 157 average only :( Saaaad.... Yeah, but whatever :) Haha, after we bowled, we stayed until like 11plus, then my dad came to get my bowling ball and Karen, Siang Min, Sam, Karen's mum and I went to Macs for lunch. Then at 1 plus, Karen and I went back to the bowling alley to watch the afternoon squad. Wanted to watch Avrel, but then he smsed me and said that they registered too late so cannot go. So stayed around to watch other people bowl, afternoon squad definitely did better than us. Haha xD Yep, so after that went cycling. AWESOME!! Haha, rode a tandem bike :) It was so fun :D Yea, then Karen's mum fetched me to a bustop, thank you! Then came home, blablabla. And now i'm here! :D Ok, dinner time, BYE!

I'm BAAACK!

2009-06-18T10:25:00.004+08:00

Ok, I look like a lobster, even though I slathered on gallons of sunblock, I still look like a freaking LOBSTER. It's SO annoying, and not to mention incredibly PAINFUL. Ok, nevermind, it was well worth it xD KAYAKING IS SO FUN. Even though my arms kinda hurt, but it's just the left arm, I guess kayaking and bowling use the same arm muscles, isn't that awesome??? Hahah xD Yep, camp was fun, Karen, you're HILARIOUS. SO blur! The hike was fun too, walked like 5 or 6km, not that far. Walked RIGHT past Cavell's house, so cool. Karen was like, he lives in a sailing club?? What, chalet ah? Hahaha, yeaaah. When we went past, I shouted out his name and I think he got a shock, haaha, whoops xD Lol... Bowling at 2 today, lazy to go... But I think I'll drag myself there because I missed training on Monday. Becoming Jane is THE BEST movie i've watched so far. It's so sad!!! Ok, I have to follow my dad so I don't have to take the MRT. SO EARLY omg... OK, bye!

PS: TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!!! :D

PUPPIES!!!!!!!!

2009-06-15T19:53:00.002+08:00

OMG! I just got back from my grandma's place in Seremban, Malaysia, and her dog, Tassie, just gave birth to puppies! They were SOOOO cute! I'll post the pics when my dad gets back :) They were so cute! Their eyes hadn't opened yet and they suck at EVERYTHING. As in literally, they were sucking on my shirt, my hair, my TOES and FINGERS. It was so cute and funny! We left Troy in SIngapore for two nights and when we got home, cos' i was the first to go up, he was miaowing like crazy! It was so cute! And compared to the puppies, he's so big and heavy! Yeah, but he's cuter xD Hahahahaha :)

Going for a camp tomorrow with Karen and Anabel for NYAA! It's gonna be so fun! Kayaking and trekking xD OMG! Hahaha, seriously seriously looking forward to it! :D 20th of June is a major majorly awesome day :) Someone's coming back to SINGAPORE!!! :D Yay yay yay!! Ok, I gotta go already, sorry for such a short post xD BYE!

Adam Lambert came out of the closet!

2009-06-08T20:06:00.002+08:00

OMG!! He's FINALLY done it! He's out, he's out! Though technically, maybe he was never really 'in' it in the first place... Oh, whatever! Check out the sites if you're interested in reading more :)

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/06/confirmed-drake-labry-is-adam-lamberts-boyfriend/

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/stars/adam-lambert/

Aww man, I mean Allison and him look so sweet together! But like they both said, their just really good friends I guess... OH WELL xD Ok, BYE! ENJOYYYYYY!

Negative Neil :)

2009-06-08T19:54:00.003+08:00

Ok, so I found this AWESOME website, it's sooo funny! The webby is -----> negativeneil.com <----- Ok, fine, i'll admit it, he's Adam Lambert's brother... But he IS really funny :D I mean, they've got the same genes, just different outlets xD Adam's an AWESOME singer and his brother Neil is an AWESOME writer :) Yep, so i'll leave you to read his website, it's funny I swear :D

Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't...

2009-05-29T09:02:00.002+08:00

In the school com lab now :) Listening to No Boundaries for the 400th time. So scary... I checked my i-tunes library yesterday. No Boundaries, play count? 385. Can you imagine? I was SHOCKED. I didn't realize i'd played it THAT many times... But i'm still in love with it :) And i'm not IN LOVE with ADAM LAMBERT, JANICE. I'm in love with his voice! BIG DIFFERENCE.

Yeah, so i'm SUPPOSED to be researching for Avant Garde fashion, but as usual, I really can't be bothered. Exams are over, school is ALMOST over and my brain is dying. Yes, literally dying and i'm too utterly exhausted to attempt reviving it...

Progress report is coming out today, i'm quite excited but kinda scared at the same time... Mainly about the comments... Well, anyway, sub combi recommendations are also coming out and I really really really, wanna get into econs... D: Okay, Ms Della's coming and she gets really fierce if she catches you doing other stuff... So BYE!

My file rocks xD

2009-05-28T21:03:00.003+08:00

I LOVE my file! ADAM LAMBERT PICS!! WHEEE!!! xD

It's official, my favourite things in the world, are my file, my computer and my i-pod :) YAY! I LOVE itttttttttttttt!! But I don't have enough pics yet... Must get more xD OH. You guys should read the second last page of the Life! section in TODAY'S Straits Times. It made me so freaking pissed today, stupid Arkansas... Ok, whatever, I am SO exhausted, I almost dropped dead this morning while walking up the stairs this morning. AND, I fell asleep during Lit.... Which, was almost like a free period... I'm so tired I swear, i'm eating way too much... I can't wait for the holidays to start, then I can start MAJOR hibernation xD Ok, going to sleep NOW. Bye :)